


Unfurled Truth

by ScrollPerfecter



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Background Character Dub Con, Background Character Dubious Morality, Background Character non con, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Harassment, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Manipulative Background Relationship, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrollPerfecter/pseuds/ScrollPerfecter
Summary: The Reader has just arrived in Markarth from The Imperial Empire, most overlook her due to her lowly status but she has piqued the interest of one particular Altmer, will he be friend or foe? Will she have to find others to confide in?
Relationships: Igmund (Elder Scrolls)/Reader, Ondolemar/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Scrolls and Scouring

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, this is my foray into writing and fanfiction in general, so please be gentle with me lol, this is more of a tester than an actual story but if anyone has any particular ideas on how the story should go, then let me know, the grammar will be terrible although I try. Thanks for reading and I hope y'all are staying safe.
> 
> Edit: Four months after I first posted, this story is getting darker in theme than originally intended but there's still going to be a happy ending, I don't condone anything that's done by any of the more malicious characters, it just fit the narrative but there will probably be triggering themes and I will try to warn when they come up in the chapter notes.
> 
> Suffice it to say I do NOT own the franchise or characters. I am NOT making money from this and I do NOT intend to.

Fear had erupted in the capital, even with your lack of knowledge when it came to The Imperial Empire back in Cyrodiil you knew that this was a bad sign, the citizens there always kept their cards close to their chest, that was a constant until today, you sigh as you put the scroll back on the table and resign yourself to your duties as the Jarl of Markarths maid.

As you absentmindedly combed your hair and tied it back from your face you got ready to face the day, a day of scrubbing floors and polishing tables no doubt. Considering yourself, you deemed yourself perfectly satisfactory and headed through the hall to hover just outside the throne room, you always started your day there, made sure you kept it spotless before the Jarl would inevitably appear with his stony visage, you ended your day in the throne room too, always keeping everything spotless.

"Servant" an all too familiar voice pulled you from your thoughts, you peeked up under your lashes with head bowed but teeth clenched and replied "Yes, Justiciar, what may I help you with today?" 

"Some fool has trodden the filth of their adventures onto the step before my quarters, do see to it - oh and before I forget, must I tell you to not tarry about the entrance to the throne room, it is awfully-" you looked at the Justiciar, a Mer he was and a very fine one too you thought, taking in his regal countenance and his high stature, not just physically although he was well over a foot taller than yourself but you felt him very accomplished and less inclined to irritation as other of his ilk, "-Distracting" he snapped his fingers in front of your face, oh dear you must have glazed over

"Forgive me Justiciar, my thoughts are elsewhere today, yes I shall see to your mess right away" you realized what you had said too late, he looked taut as a bow string, his hands suddenly behind is back as though he could uncoil at any moment, head held high, as though he could strike you dead with just one look.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that it was a creation of your own, I know a superior Mer such as yourself would never create such mess, I just meant to say that I will clean it for you" you rushed out, daring a glance up, his tension seemed to have abated a little, you let out a steady stream of air in a silent thank you to whichever Aedra was with you, you liked to think it was Mara but you were just thankful in general. 

  
Not much occurred the rest of the day, just your usual duties, although your encounter with Ondolemar and the two cronies that flanked him wherever he went did not escape your thoughts so easily, you were quite shaken but you continued mopping the floors of the keep having dealt with the frankly disgusting mess outside of the Justiciar's door, who knew what happened there, you mused.

 _Perhaps tis a mystery that will never and should never be unraveled_ and you would be grateful for small mercies of never allowing yourself to think of it again, yet you wondered, why was it that whenever you were cleaning did Ondolemar have something for you to clean, since the day you arrived at the keep a month ago after leaving everything behind, he had requests of you that eventually turned into demands, that's fairly normal considering your job title but you started to realize it never happened with any other servants, he picked on you and you alone, the thought left you with a chill down your spine, although you were not yet sure whether this was due down to excitement or fear.

You walked back to the servants quarters, keeping an ear out for any potential intrigue on the way just as your father had always taught you, always be aware he'd say you never know what advantages the right nugget of information could give you.

You arrived in the small hall where your fellow servants slept without hearing anything interesting alas, Mara the keep was dull. Sitting on your bare as bones bed you unfurled the scroll that was sent to you again, just as you had in the morn, it was a note from your brother by marriage Gaius asking of your well being and keeping you up to date with the goings on of The Empire and of the family business, as well as news of your sister and his child, a newborn babe, with the name of Leah, you felt a warmth in your chest as you thought of the family you dearly missed, a tear rolling down your cheek as you thought of the home you had to leave.


	2. A Servant's Duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the hits and the kudos, I'm still just learning so forgive me for mistakes and the fact that I don't know how to write lol but I hope you enjoy it anyway! 
> 
> This is just a filler chapter tbh, might post another half a chapter later today.

You awoke to a brand new day, you felt refreshed today, having read Gaius' message over and over until it was stained with tears of joy. It was very rare to be able to receive word from a relative over such long distance, so they were few and far between but treasured none the less.

You donned your tawny hued garment, your battle gear as the other maids like to call it, you questioned Layla, a maid slightly younger than you about it, all she said in a whisper was that "Each have their own battles, Nord men search for honor in battle, royal ladies have the laborious task of birthing heirs and serving wenches fight the wretch and scum that is too base for any others to tackle" you chuckled, as you donned your figurative armor.

No less had you finished reliving that particular memory did the aforementioned Layla pop her head around the communal servants quarters, "Y/N, that Mer requests your presence in the keeps hall and I better hurry about it if I were you, he looks livid" you sigh heavily knowing that it was the law of Nirn that if you felt good for once in your existence that it would last perhaps but a single morn.  
As you walked along with the red headed Layla towards the towering Justiciar you couldn't help but feel as though a knot had formed in your stomach, you felt as though you were walking to the gallows.

You arrived and cleared your throat as you covered your mouth with a hand, not wanting to seem uncouth before the three Mer that were before you, but you were stumbling over yourself in your mind terribly, "Justiciar Ondolemar, Layla, the servant clearing the table to your left that is, has informed me that you requested me here", "Yes I am...in need of your services",well this is strange, the ever confident elf looks like he is measuring his words carefully, why measure them so with just a servant you think as you watch him contemplate.  


"I am yours to command" you cough behind your hand and look away feeling the blush creep onto your cheeks, oh no he'll definitely notice that "Are quite well? perhaps I give you too many tasks girl, we superior bred Mer tend to have a better tolerance when it comes to..." he was taking awhile to get his words out, so you decided to crane your neck up to get a sly look at the pensive Altmer, the sconce on the wall is illuminating his profile, he has such fine bone structure you notice, a clattering on table to your left scattered your thoughts thankfully, you had been staring far too long again "...well almost everything" 'almost everything' you wonder where his weakness may lie, you also note that he seems to be admitting to said weakness.

"Curious" you mumble, "Excuse me?! We seem to be getting rather side tracked, you can handle the task or can you not? It's a simple enough premise girl". You were in a state of confusion until you realized that you must have uttered your curiosity aloud, "Forgive me, yes I have time for you-your tasks I mean Ondole-Justiciar" you were in such a state yet again because of this imperious elf, you had no idea whether you delighted in him or despised him, his mere presence seemed to ignite some kind of flicker in your chest, you were so hot that you feared you could possibly go up in flames. "Very well then, come, follow me, 'girl'" he emphasized the descriptive, which seemed to stoke the burning inside yourself, you had no idea what your feelings alluded to but you knew that you'd never felt this way before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, your time is precious, stay safe.


	3. Little Mouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, just a chapter lost somewhere between 2 and 3, trying to be motivated again, not working very well haha.  
> Hope you enjoy it regardless.  
> It's just a halfie.

Your head was still bowed as you followed the Justiciar to the door of his private quarters, you felt a chill leaving goosebumps on your skin and a quaking in your bones, you felt as though perhaps he'd requested your help in his room to admonish you over some unintended slight. "Do lift your head girl, Altmer don't engage in discourse with mice", your cheeks flushed, you weren't sure whether you were affronted or just surprised that the elf would deem you worthy to look upon him, it was...strange.

Nevertheless you tentatively lifted your head muttering a "Yes, Justiciar", still you clasped your hands together in front of your apron trying not to twiddle your thumbs or display any of your apprehension but failing. He noticed this, his eagle-like eyes caught sight of your fidgeting straight away, you hastily thrust them behind your back with surprising grace for such an obvious gesture, although he seemed mildly amused judging by the slight curl upwards in his lip. 

The door creaked on its hinges as he opened it, you knew at some point he'd ask you to fix, you inwardly sighed but then remembered your oath to yourself, positive thoughts, always positive thoughts.

The golden figure stood against the open door and extended his left arm into his room, inviting you in, he seemed a most gracious host. Even for a keeps servant he rolled out the wagon... perhaps he was a little too gracious especially to a servant, you started to notice a pattern in his behavior, one that you had only thought briefly on before but never had proof of.

You didn't know how you would feel if your suspicions were actually true, he never seemed to be inviting or kind to anyone but you, you thought to yourself as you looked around the surprisingly cramped room, there was furniture everywhere. Your palms were getting increasingly sweaty as your anxiety increased, so you decided to try not to think about it and just focus on the task at hand.

He cleared his throat, you must have been glaring and shuffling about again, you stood stock still. "Y/N, what did I say about little mice? don't just stand there staring, use your words, surely you can talk for I am sure I have heard your dulcet tones before" he scoffed in a condescending manner, you blanched and wondered why you were even here helping at all if you were just to be insulted. 

"Forgive me Justiciar, it's just that I don't make a habit of being in a gentleman's private quarters", you rushed the words out and he looked down at you with a smirk and a glint in his eye that made your breath hitch, why was it that your heart felt fit to burst when he stared you down. 

"Oh really? Well I'm sure your parents would commend you for your untarnished reputation although you seemed to have sullied it by following me so eagerly little mouse." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say it was short, like myself, hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, stay safe.


	4. His Interest

You blanched at the tone of his voice and what was implied, you felt that you must have been imagining things but your heart was racing and you felt a sheen of perspiration forming. He couldn't think you were some...some harlot could he, a toy to be used as he wished. Yes you were a servant but not that, never that.

You decided to get to the bottom of it before the situation could escalate. "Please, Justiciar Ondolemar, I must -", you were interrupted by the scrape of a chair and that imperious voice, "Must what, little mouse?" he looked amused as he held a goblet out for you to fill, you did so with fists clenched and head low, half defeated, your confidence evaporating as soon as it had arrived, there was something about this Mer that would you affect in strange ways.

You shook slightly as you poured the wine, it didn't help that he watched you like a hawk, probably hoping to see a drop spilled so that he could reprimand you, he had a mean streak but you noticed he could be cordial especially when it came to you, he confused your senses, he was just confounding in general.

Trying to summon up your strength again was a tough task, as you didn't want to offend the elf, _what if he meant no harm and I'm just overthinking, it wouldn't be the first time that's happened_ , you tried to justify and rationalize but realized you were only making yourself more anxious, you chanced a glance up from the decanter in your hands and yes he was still staring at you intently, _why must he measure my every move._

"Mouse, I find your lack of speech tiring. Why is it that you cease to function when in my presence, I know I'm a great example of Merkind but am I that fascinating to you?", he was full on smirking now, his bright eyes had a mischievous glint in them and you knew you were in for it now.

The red sloshed in his goblet as you filled it, he sniffed at it and swirled it with his long fingers wrapped around it with a delicate but firm grip, he cleared his throat and your head immediately bolted up as he gestured for you to come closer, your feet scuffed on the floor as you took one step closer, he chuckled, it made your heart flutter, desperately trying to ignore your reaction to him, you tried for something to say to distract yourself.

"Er forgive me Justiciar, I just thought that" you tried to conjure up the right words, ill intent was ill advised, so you stuttered out "That you must tire of hearing the constant chattering and inane gossiping of servants, a Mer such as yourself would do better not to speak to the likes of us", that should get you off the hook, you did not want him to think you had any interest in illicit interactions if he did think such a thing, he could get you cast out.

"Hah, you're a smooth talker mouse, a silver tongue like that is wasted on a serving girl, how did you come to be such in the first place that is what I wonder, your vocabulary is suspiciously extensive for your low position", he rested his chin upon his hand whilst his eyes rested up your face, he knew how to throw you off, knew which buttons to press and how to use his intensity, how to twist these new feelings that you didn't fully understand yet.

His comments had worried you, did he not bring you here for anything illicit then, your heart sank at that thought and you chided yourself for such silliness, but then what did he want you here for, what was he getting at.

"Maybe some wine will loosen that stubborn little tongue, come here girl, share a goblet with me", you were in shock as he gestured towards the dark wood chair that was situated almost facing his, this was starting to feel like an interrogation, you tapped your foot on the cold stone floor, a nervous habit from when you were young.  
He poured you some wine, you allowed him to. "Drink. So tell me", it was a demand disguised as a prompt, you took a nervous gulp of your wine, a little bit too much as you were a milk drinker and didn't bode well with the strong stuff, you were flushing already as you replied "Tell you what Ondolemar?"


	5. The Questioning

"About you, I know your name, I know that you're not from here, not originally at least, I can hear the lilt in your voice although you try to cover it with a poor imitation of the local populace, so tell me, little mouse what do you have to hide?", his glance was not directly aimed towards you anymore, it was sidelong, he seemed to be giving you a time to think at least, Thank Mara for small miracles.

You sighed in relief, some of the tension dissipating, you summoned up your nerve, you felt wary about answering him, especially as you were just the Jarl's maid, ah yes the Jarl, Igmund could vouch for me but should I ask such a thing from him if it comes to it?. "Well?", he drawled out. Telling the truth would be the best course of action, the Thalmor had their ways of sniffing out lies.

"You're correct in the assumption that I'm not from here, although my accent is true to me, I would visit the father of my mother, he lived here for some time", you were rambling slightly and playing with your frayed garment edge. "And?" he asked, he suddenly thrust out his arm toward you, for a moment you thought he might strike you but he just motioned for you to fill his goblet again, for a second his face looked dour, what he said next was reassuring and yet oddly terrifying still, "I know what you may think of the Thalmor and of myself, but please don't think me capable of striking you, my methods are less overt", you chastised yourself for thinking that he'd hit you but you'd known some people in your past who were slightly less polite.

Continuing on you had another sip of your wine, which left you slightly glassy eyed, the thought struck you the sooner you told him, the faster you could leave. "I'm from The Imperial Province of Cheydinhal, it's a nice little city, you'd like it, they have mages", you blurted out, you were talking too much, it must be that blasted wine, you were swaying slightly in your seat.

"Hmmm an Imperial, just as I suspected. I'm sure none of your little mage friends could hold a candle to even an amateur Altmer mage", he huffed and went to fetch more wine as he'd already deemed you quite incapable of retrieving the bottle he'd stashed in a pot next to the fireplace judging from your demeanor he was fairly worried that you might pass out before the questioning was over. Ondolemar poured the next goblet for himself, as he stood before you drinking casually whilst waiting for you to regain some sense of decorum.

You composed yourself as best as you could considering, you'd had way too much to drink, you straightened your back but any the illusion was shattered as soon as you hiccoughed, you were aghast and clapped your hand firmly over your mouth as your already hot cheeks flushed even more, the towering elf gave you a smirk and oh your belly felt all hot inside, must be the drink or because he's handsome, you shook your head of such thoughts, definitely the drink speaking.

"Why are you in Skyrim, couldn't you make more gold in the Imperial City, forgive the fairly vulgar topic of coin, but these are things I'd like to know" , you knew that when he said 'like' he meant needed to and would know. You decided you needed to walk the drink off before answering his impertinent questions but that was a very silly idea since the first thing you managed when you got up was to sway and shuffle two steps forward but then the room was dizzying, all colors and sights mixing together around and you were falling back and catching your ankle on the small end table next to your chair, you put your arms around your head as you braced yourself for the inevitable fall but it didn't happen.

You cracked an eye open and felt a warm pressure around you waist and were in complete bewilderment when your eyes shot open wide to look up at Ondolemar's face, which was looking down at you a crinkle in his head, his eyes wide too, you realized that he'd saved you from a fall that could have easily cracked your head, his long arms were firmly around your waist and you were chest to chest with him, he quickly pulled his arms back from the embrace and looked away "Go" he said quietly.

"Sorry?", confusion was bubbling in your head, didn't he want to question me?. "GO, out now", you were in shock, he looked more golden on his cheeks...was he blushing? You scurried away although kept tripping over the stone floor and your suddenly incompetent feet, until he grabbed you by the arm and marched you to his door which he opened hastily and pushed you through. Turning to face him, to ask just what was happening, you realized he'd already retreated back inside and the door was firmly shut in your face.


	6. What's Missing?

Something was - off, you awoke feeling a suffocating heat in your head, your cheeks felt like they were burning up, you immediately started to dry heave, you manage to scramble to a nearby bucket and lamented your life, so much for yesterdays perkiness. 

You scrunched up your nose as you realized that you had not bothered to change last night and that your dress, one of very few that you owned was fairly soiled with perspiration and the lingering smell of spilled wine. You blanched and wiped your brow, you discarded your clothes in the laundry pile and tried to steady yourself, you changed into a clean shift and found out another dress, almost identical to your original.

The Jarl had a new idea recently to implement a plain uniform dress which is what you had been wearing for the duration of your stay, you had four interchangeable ones thus far, you were perched on your bed with your feet firmly on the ground, it was the steadying influence you needed, when the head maid Frida came in, she was older than you, her blonde hair threaded with grey, she had hard steel grey eyes, and frown lines, but she was not unkind, she just knew her place and made sure the younger servants knew theirs, she held a small bundle of letters in her hand, she was handing them out one by one

"Layla, yours" the redheaded woman was practically bouncing as she received her letter.   
Frida handed you yours and gave you a stern look, _she knows, knows that I was inebriated on duty_ but to your surprise she softened and just gave you a curious look and then left, you thanked Mara and then tied your hair back, a sense of dread and uneasiness overcame you, but then you opened your letter and your heart was lifted by joy of hearing from Gaius, your sister and their baby Leah, she was healthy and happy and very messy according to Gaius, you wished he didn't tell you that, you had an urge to travel immediately back to Cheydinhal to clean the house and coo at your new family member. 

As you put the scroll away in the chest at the foot of your bed that you were allocated, Layla came up to you practically bouncing, "Good news?", you asked "The best!", she exclaimed whilst jumping up and down and gesticulating wildly. 

"Well?", she put a hand on your arm and steered you to a more private corner of your quarters, "I'm so happy" she beamed at you, those hazel eyes of hers sparkling.

"I had noticed, yes" you teased, you were happy for her of course but you just wanted to know what was the cause of her sudden joy not that she wasn't always a ray of sunshine because she was but...

"I'm betrothed!", she had a lovesick look about her now, you let out a breath and smiled, "Who is the lucky man?".

She looked at you with an incredulous look as if you had your head in the snow, "My one and only true love, that's who, you should know who that is!".

You didn't, Layla was a wonderful girl but men were drawn to her and she tended to enjoy the attention, so you were just trying to parse through your memory to figure out who was her latest, _who? come on think, her latest, her latest,_ then it struck you **,** _oh yes of course Yngvar._

"Yngvar? Congratulations Layla, you'll be very happy together, I knew that you could tame him, oh and he can sing too, I heard him once outside the inn, he's a fine singer and a great warrior", you were practically singing his praises as you and Layla left the servants quarters for the Throne room.  
Layla seemed a bit stiff, so you jokingly prodded her, but she made no attempt to tease back, "What's wrong?" you asked nervously. 

"Hemming", she was cold as she mentioned his name, "Oh is he harassing you again? Layla you must tell him to stop if he is bothering you but maybe Yngvar could", you were worried but only vaguely, he was all the way in Riften. 

"No, Hemming Black-Briar is my intended" the way she stated it was so matter-of-fact that you were taken aback. "Hemming Black-Briar! Hemming bloody Black-Briar!", fear gripped your heart, you had to admit when your bubbly friend first admitted to being betrothed that you had felt a pang of jealousy, never having experienced even courtship before but you were happy but then heard that name. 

Hemming was a beast, everyone knew it, he put on airs and graces but he couldn't keep his dalliances with ladies of ill repute out of the public sphere even all the way in Markarth, rumors abound even though his mother tried to keep them hush hush. 

"I'm sorry Layla for my outburst but why, why him?", he'd been trying to get his claws into her for years and you knew why, it was an open secret among the staff that your best friend was the bastard half-sister of the Jarl and he favored her even though he couldn't be seen to, plus she was a beautiful woman.

"Because he loves me, he really does, Yngvar only wanted one thing from me, Hemming wants it all" Layla sounded exasperated and a little wistful, _yes he wants it all, he wants your body and status when Igmund legitimizes you, silly girl,_ you loved her but that's why you had to make her see the truth "Why do you want to ruin this for me?" the redhead bemoaned, you decided not to press your displeasure on duty though, so you shook your head put on a smile that didn't reach your eyes and congratulated her.

Fifteen minutes later as you were wiping down an old vase that you had no idea why the Jarl kept, you couldn't put your finger on it but something was wrong, was missing, you noticed that Layla still seemed quiet although she thanked you for your congratulations. _What's missing?_ , you glanced around, the Jarl was still asleep as to be expected, only Faleen was here as per usual, you went to collect more water to dampen your cloth, when you noticed it, Justiciar Ondolemar was not in his usual spot, his cronies were still there but he was missing, you felt your heart hitch.


	7. Clean Your Master

You mopped floors, wiped down surfaces and generally kept everything neat and tidy for the Jarl, you even wipe down the great metal things in some of the halls, they were something to do with the ancient Dwemer according to Calcelmo but they kind of scared you as well as intrigued you, you'd always been fascinated by different cultures, even so, you cleaned them after being told explicitly they were dormant.

As you were shining a particularly stubborn piece of metal, a crash sounded through the hall, you jumped and turned, some drunken Nord had tripped over the dog, who you went to check on, luckily the dog was fine but the Jarl was not, he stood there covered head to toe in ale, _was that man holding a whole ewer?._

You immediately ran to the Jarl after checking on the dog as you'd seen that no one had run to him, they were probably too afraid of his wrath or perhaps in shock at the stupidity of the ewer man.

Grabbing your cloth, you bowed quickly, "May I sir?" without thinking you had already started wiping him down, he just stared although shockingly did not too seem tense considering the circumstances.

The ewer man had already ran off, the Jarl was a fairly wise man, he knew that to show his ire to a lowly drunk would surely make him look weak, though you could see a tick in his jaw and how his eyes had hardened, you had handed him a cloth to wipe his own face with when you had started and you and he made short work of his neck and top of his tunic but there was nothing for it, he'd have to change.

"Maid, who was that troublesome man?", he asked with teeth clenched, "I do not know of him, my lord, only that he had that awful ewer.", you put your stained cloth in a water bowl on the table, when your employer spoke again, "Come" you followed your lord with head down and hands behind back, your breathing was deep, you tried to calm yourself, _it wasn't my fault, the ewer man did it, is he going to punish me for some unknown misdeed?_

He beckoned you inside his chambers and gestured for you to come close, you took a few steps forward as you took in the room, it wasn't what you had expected although you had never expected to enter his room in the first place, you weren't his chamber maid, just a general housekeeper. 

You noticed his bed wasn't that of stone, like the guest rooms were, it was a double and such beautiful green silks, you felt a pang of jealousy when you thought of your straw bed.

"What are you waiting for girl, I stand here before you soaked in an idiots drink, undress me", that stony visage was back, he looked like he'd been etched from the caverns of Understone Keep itself, he was every bit a Jarl, just as he should be, you admired that, his strength, not just physically. 

"Forgive me my Jarl, but I am not your chamber maid, only she and your future wife, should have the honor of seeing you without", _did I really just say that, that sounded better in my head_ , your cheeks flushed. 

"Well she's not here and I have yet to find a wife, so do stop dallying woman, you owe me, I had seen you run to the dog before your master, SO GET TO IT!" that made you jump, you were not expecting such anger, but reasoned that it had been a long day for him and a long time coming. 

You undid his belt, whilst you bit the inside of your cheek to try and stop the nervous smile that was threatening to erupt. You gently peeled his tunic from the bottom, it stained your hands and it reeked of alcohol, you discarded it into the hamper, you looked at him for a moment, your eyes inadvertently raking over his chiseled chest, you almost let out a sigh, you had never been close to a half naked man before. 


	8. Sweet as Wine

His chest glistened with a mix of ale and water, as you wiped his down as he had requested, your hand shook slightly as you held the cloth to his hairy yet muscular chest, your breath hitched and you could feel his own breath coming quicker near your forehead as he bent down to watch you, you were looking up as he wrapped a hand around yours and spoke "Cease, your attentions should turn elsewhere, you have lingered upon me for too long unless...".

"Forgive me Jarl Igmund, I only mean to clean yo-" He cut you off mid-sentence, by continuing in a low tone, "Unless you would find it a boon to bathe me, although I have already been bathed in ale by the man with the pitcher", his abdomen shook slightly as he let out a booming laugh, he was starting to see the funny side. 

You just remained quiet and still, unsure of what to do, "Fetch me some clothes would you girl" you were grateful for the command, you were always lost without someone to help order you.

"Yes my Jarl, here, would they be suitable?".

He grunted a yes and you gave him a towel to dry himself off with, he did so, looking like he'd never done it before on his own in his life, but you didn't want to take liberties with him especially after his previous warning regardless of if it was a joke or not, you didn't want to risk it. 

"How long have you been in my service girl? and what's your name?", you hesitantly told him it, you were quite shy to overstep boundaries, it shocked you that he was making small talk. 

He was still toweling down when his hand went to undo his breeches, you turned around, as to not overstep your mark. 

"Uhm about two months now I make it, my Jarl" careful not to speak unless spoken to. 

"I've not noticed you, apart from around the Throne room on a rare occasion, do you not clean it a lot, is it someone else who does the bulk of the work? because for what I've seen it's always gleaming but there's not a trace of you?", he asked with what seemed like a curious tone.

You stared at the grey stone wall in front of you, willing yourself to stay that way, and answered him. "It is Layla and I, we clean it often for you, but I make sure to do it at dawn, usually before you get up, my lord"

You heard a rustling of fabric, you guessed the Jarl had just dropped his breeches, you flushed, so much so, that you could feel the heat pooling in your cheeks. 

"It is you! Now I see, hah, Layla speaks of you constantly! She speaks highly of you, just this morning she was saying of your care for her and how you congratulated her on her upcoming wedding, although she did say that you seemed reticent at first - you can turn around now maid", you did as he asked, he was still bare chested but with new breeches on and gestured for you to tug his boots on for him, he held a bed post as you did so. 

"This reticence where does it come from, your fellow maid is happy to marry such a fine man but you did warn her, what of?", you knew he was trying to grasp at what you thought of Hemming, "I trust you're aware of Layla, her relation to me, I didn't realize it was you that she was talking about when she spoke of her best friend who knew of us, but now I can put a name to a face, and your face I will remember, woman."

You looked up at him through your lashes, you bit your lip, a nervous habit when trying to think of an answer to questions asked.

When you met his eyes, they were blown black with some emotion you couldn't place, and you gasped, they caught your gaze as your eyes locked in some spell you couldn't break but you must if you were to not be punished, you looked away, it took a lot of strength but you did it.

"Tell me woman, why do you detest my sister's marriage?" 

"I do not detest her marriage, I must admit that I dislike Hemming Black-Briar, I know of his ways, he will hurt her but I've tried to reason with her, it's not my place but perhaps you could, sir", there was a sense of renewed hope in your chest for your friend.

"Hmm is he a rogue, have you met, did he do anything to you?" questions were careening out of his mouth now, you found it hard to keep up with them as you helped him tug on a golden tunic, you also didn't want to say anything improper, you also knew how vindictive the Black-Briar family could be, your mother's brother once had an unfortunate encounter with one of them.

You told him what you knew, just to try and get Layla out of Hemming's path, "I know of him, my family have had run-ins with their family before and the rumors of Hemming Black-Briar's misdeeds have unfortunately been confirmed by trusted sources".

"Hmm, I shall have a word, don't worry I will not speak your name to Layla, I know she will just shake it off then, like she did earlier, she's a fine young woman, but she does not listen, not to friends but perhaps to me if I convince her... somehow", he sighed whilst shaking his head, it looked like he was dreading it as much as you. "I don't know why I trust your word though if that's all the evidence you have but something tells me in your eyes that what you say is no word of a lie, you better not make a fool of me." 

You swallowed a lump in your throat, the Jarl who you've barely ever spoken to, a well respected man that he is, trusts your word, it couldn't be just your kind eyes could it?, "Thank you, I'm in your debt sir", your innocent voice wrung out. 

His eyes bored into yours and there was that look again, eyes almost black and with an intensity that you couldn't dare look at, Ondolemar's eyes sometimes look so intense too, is it a masculine thing, I've not seen a girl look me in such a manner, where is Ondolemar?

"I'm not sure, why?", you were aghast, you hadn't meant to mention the elf, why had you?

"Oh I just have a task from him my Jarl" he grumbled and turned away, he drank swiftly from a goblet on his end table, "Would you like a taste?", you didn't know how to respond, to drink on duty was a no-no, you remembered what happened with Ondolemar, you didn't want a repeat performance of your silliness. 

It must be a test, he's probably heard of my previous drunkenness and wants to see if I'll do the right thing. 

You wrung your hands together nervously and bit your lip again, they were getting red and swollen by now, "Forgive me my Jarl, but I must respectfully decline, although your offer is most gracious."

He grumbled again, he gave you the intense stare, "I said, would you like a drink? You still owe me for attending to the dogs before myself".

You conceded he had a point and it was a direct order, a sip wouldn't hurt, "Yes please my Jarl, may I have a taste." 

"You're a polite one, real silver tongue, makes me curious of you and I love the way you say my title, it's sounds so sweet off your lips, just as sweet as this wine is on mine."

You made to go get another goblet but before you could, the Jarl grabbed you by your shoulders and leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to your lips.

You didn't know what to do, you had never been kissed before in your life, it felt... indescribable, when he stroked your bottom lip with his tongue you moaned, such heat was pooling within you, you awkwardly pressed back against his lips, his tongue kept prodding your lips, you didn't know how to react but you opened your mouth to gasp and he pushed his tongue between, the wine was sweet, he was right.

The feelings you had were so new, you couldn't have imagined them, it felt like there was a fire in you and a spark of pleasure but then you also found it quite awkward so you pulled back to breathe.


	9. Silver and Gold

Lips searching for yours under the cover of darkness, eventually finding what they sought, your mouth crashes together with another's, you feel a flutter in your chest and a heat elsewhere, a fire is being stoked within you as arms enfold you in a warm embrace, skin on skin, sweet as wine, starlight casting down a shine, illuminating the face of your beloved, your eyes widened as his face was revealed, all golden angles enveloped in silver moonlight, bright almond shaped eyes and full lips, pointed chin...this was certainly not Jarl Igmund.

Your vision began to blur as you felt the fire in you begin to burn brighter and stronger, a burning desire that left you hot, you opened your legs almost involuntarily, pleasure seeped into your very skin, through to the heart of you, but something was off, everything was rocking just as you two rocked together, you looked down and noted that you were completely bare, and that you were connected via your lovemaking in a way that you'd never dreamed of.

The jostling became greater, the cabin was shaking, candles flickered out, books tossed to the floor by some force. Then you heard him, moan out your name over and over but something was off his voice changed, it became higher and shriller. "Y/N!" your name was all but shouted as you were shaken, "Wha-" you started after realizing that you'd been rudely awakened by Frida. 

Her grey eyes were stern and her forehead was wrinkled in what you could only guess was an expression of faint concern. You were vaguely aware of tittering and giggling sounds from some of the girls who were tarrying from their duties. 

"Forgive me, I was dreaming." You said dumbly, wiping sleep from your eyes, you flushed and shrank bank under your sheets slightly as you'd noticed the entire room still incessantly giggling, you heard someone on your left, you didn't turn to look, just eyed her from your periphery "Yes we know, we heard everything." 

"Ernestine, that's enough!" Frida always seemed to have a soft spot for you, you weren't sure why but you were thankful for it right now.

"But it's true, 'Oh Ondolemar, Oh yes, Ondolemar" Ernestine sang out, mimicking what you must have been saying, you were absolutely gut wrenchingly mortified, you were sure your cheeks were aflame. 

"I said that is enough! Now get to work the lot of you." 

You made to get up but Frida put her hand on your arm, leaned down and muttered to you, "Look, I decided to let you off when it came to the drinking incident, then there was the ale and the Jarl, where you attended the dogs before him and now you're sleeping well past your duties, I like you, this is why I'm advising you, sort it out, you're a good girl but I'm not sure what's happened this past week but I don't want you getting yourself into trouble, are we clear?"

"Please forgive me, I don't know what's happening anymore, it's just one strange occurrence after the next, I try to be good I really do" You liked Frida but you didn't think you could tell her about the Jarl just yet, _how did it get to this_? you were just so confused.

"Just get to work sweetheart, get to work" She shook her head but there was a softness in her usually steely gaze, you wondered if she'd ever been through something similar in her younger days. 

"Oh and just one more thing, you'll do yourself a favor to not get involved with the Altmer, he's nice for a Thalmor but that's just it, for a Thalmor, always remember that." You felt compelled to disagree considering you didn't think that there was any future in it anyway but you kept you mouth shut and got to work. 

Heading to the Throne room later than ever before you stopped to stroke the dogs, "Playing with the dogs on the floor, how considerate of you to dirty yourself for the creatures, something you seem to do often."

You looked up from your crouching position and continued stroking the dogs soft fur, there he was in all his towering glory, the reason for your dream that you'd been replaying in your head all day, "Justiciar, how may I be of service?" you were flushed again but you tried to remain sycophantic, you really weren't in the mood for arguments, not when you'd have to face the Jarl in a moment.

"I'm sure you're accustomed to being put to good use by now, but I have no need of you." He waved you away with his long hand, your heart dropped and for some reason you felt yourself begin to tear up, there was nothing you could do for except wonder as to his disappearance and reappearance, his sudden particular vehemence toward you, you turned and walked straight to the Throne room, not looking back for fear of him seeing your weakness. 


	10. Facing Consequences

It was not going to be a good day it seemed, every time you passed by a fellow servant they either giggled, mocked you or gave you a glare and tried to avoid you as if you were a common skeever, you understand it, you'd let yourself down by your very loud dreams but then again, it's not as if you could control such things, you sighed as you wiped down the same vase as last time, the repetition of your days used to settle you, they would still if they hadn't been book-ended lately by strange events.

You still ruminated over the dream of Ondolemar, the kiss you had the previous night with the Jarl, Ondolemar's disappearance and subsequent reappearance as though he were an apparition bent on destroying your good will towards him, you snorted at the thought, but now there was the fact that you felt compelled to help out Layla and you had to face the Jarl.

_How did life get so confused?_

The Jarl had his eyes on you, you could feel them burning the back of your head with the fire in them, you weren't sure if he was impassioned for ill or for well, you just knew of those staring eyes, you kept your back to him all day.

Layla had just left for a bowl of water to dip her cloth, when the noble man spoke in his heavily accented voice, "Servant cease your duties at once and come to your Jarl." You had been dreading this.

You wiped your hands on a clean cloth in your apron and made to approach Jarl Igmund, you suddenly felt a little lightheaded but you took a steadying breath and walked up to his throne tentatively with head bowed, you curtsied although that wasn't entirely necessary, you always like to play it safe.

"You've been avoiding me you little temptress, tell have you tasted a sweeter wine since we kissed last?" He stared at you with a half grin on his face, his legs wide apart and a hand under his chin.

"No, my Jarl, of course not, it has only been a few hours since our - our." You hesitated.

"You can't even bring yourself to say it, I didn't expect someone who so freely let herself be enthralled with a kiss to be so reticent, are you really innocent, I expect that most maids are not, considering the state of their masters." His eyes seemed cruel to you, just in that moment you realized what he meant.

"Forgive me Jarl Igmund but those who work hard for their masters are just good servants, their profession does not deem them sullied, just because we maids work our fingers to the bone cleaning up your messes does not mean that we are dirt. Our integrity outmatches those who make said messes, do you not agree my Jarl." You emphasized his title, you were glad to stand up for yourself, well not for you but for your fellow maids but you also regretted it almost instantly.

_Why did I say that? He's going to send me away, I just know it and it'll be my own fault._

To your surprise he gave a laugh but you soon understood that it was not one of good faith or mirth but was derisive, "Silly little thing, you really believe that you can speak to me thus, well well well, aren't we suddenly high and mighty, quite above our stations, are we not?" His twisted smile turned into a grimace, your breath hitched and you looked to your feet, your face flushing but not with pleasure. 

"You've had one taste of a noble man's wine, a taste that many would beg for and now you act like you didn't want it, I bet you're of the ilk that go around and tease men, then complain of their interest aren't you?!" His fists had clenched white knuckles jutting out through ruddy skin. 

"Forgive me but I'm not that sort, I have just had a bad day, please forgive me, I cannot go back home, not yet." You were on the verge of tears, humiliated and feeling like an utter coward but this was your livelihood for the time being.

His anger seemed to abate and a smile broke out on his face, "Why are you here girl?"

The question seemed quite random and threw you for a loop, you didn't understand what he was referring to, you asked for clarification, the anxiety within you not ceasing, not even for a moment. 

"Sorry? Why am I here? In what context my Jarl?" you bit your lip nervously, you were pushing your luck. 

"Why are you here today at this time, you usually arrive before I do and you're usually gone before then too, now you're here, makes me wonder...makes me think you wanted to see me, makes me think you do want me after all, you're just shy or perhaps afraid of careless tongues?"

He got up and started pacing, your heartbeat picked up, you had to tell him you didn't want him but how could you? Perhaps you might have wanted him at one point but the way he spoke of your fellow maids and for the dream you had of Ondolemar, you knew you had just gotten caught up in the excitement of your first kiss, it was a mistake but you'd do well to learn from it, you would have to decline this man. 

  
"So quiet girl, your tongue is better used for other pursuits anyway." The hulking man started walking towards you, you tried to back away slowly hoping he wouldn't notice too much but as you walked backwards your clumsy feet tripped and tangled around your skirt, you looked up at him with wide watery eyes as he crouched over you, casting an imposing image with his wide frame and his gleaming circlet. 

"You know not what you say my Jarl, I'm but a servant, to put my lips to yours would be wrong." You needed to get out of this situation now, you didn't think he would hurt you, you knew that Layla trusted him and that's all you needed but you also knew that he didn't exactly perceive right and wrong the same way, he'd been a Jarl for a long time. 

He ran his fingers through your hair and cupped your cheek with one hand as he lent down to kiss your lips, "No, my Jarl, please my honor." you tried as you turned your cheek.

"You're a maid, you have no honor" He chuckled and you felt the tears building up again threatening to spill over your cheeks, you didn't look at him, only towards the door as he left soft pecks down your cheek, it was an intimate act, it looked as though he was trying to play at willing lovers rather than master taking his servant. 

"Why must you persist in this treatment of me?" you said in a half whine, your bottom lip trembling. 

"Because I can, but do you not remember last night, you reciprocated my kiss, or will you say it was just the wine?"

His tone annoyed and frightened you at the same time. "I was swept up in the event sir, I was not expecting it, I kissed back but that was only because I was overwhelmed at my first - " 

He cut you off by holding up his hand to command you to cease speaking, "Ahh I see, I see now why you're so reticent, shy girl, you should have told me, your first kiss, how surprising and how must you have felt, having a Jarl give it to you, you must have been overjoyed, forgive me, I've been very forward with you, I'll give you time to warm up to the idea"

You let out a sigh of relief but it didn't last long, "Idea of what if I may ask?", you really didn't want to ask but knew you had to.

"Why, well our eventual bedding" He spoke as if it was common knowledge that you'd eventually be his.

"NO!" You shouted despite yourself, it must have alerted the rabble because they arrived in droves, including Ondolemar, Igmund roughly hauled you up and stated "Poor thing tripped and she's a little confused, she can have the evening off" you knew it was a warning.

You looked up and saw Ondolemar with narrowed eyes, you couldn't help it, you had seen such disdain in them that you burst out crying and tried to pry your way through the crowd.


	11. Pot of Gold

As you ran through the crowd that was now dispersing, muttering and whispering things - that would probably turn out to be nasty rumors no doubt - you miscalculated your pace and almost tripped but a long arm barred your path.

You knew immediately who it belonged to, looking up your suspicions were confirmed, Justiciar Ondolemar stood before you as he turned you around with a long fingered grip on your arm, you smiled meekly through your tears and sniffled a little, you hadn't meant to shown such weakness but you knew you had reached a kind of crux in your life, you had to stand up and face your fears, or you could run and you'd chosen to run at first, until that golden hand had grabbed you gently, pulling you into the owners towering embrace.

You hadn't even realized until you felt the justiciar gently pat your head as if comforting a dog or pet, that you had grabbed hold of him and burrowed your lowered head against his chest, holding onto the tops of his lean arms in a deathly grip, the surprising thing was that he let you, although he was completely rigid in his composure.

After a few minutes of him just petting your hair whilst giving sighs of annoyance here and there, he pulled away and gently wrapped a hand around your arm, the sconces lit up his face again from an angle and you gasped as the golden light flickered in his eyes. 

"Are you quite okay? little mouse. I have not seen you in some time, I've had some important business to attend to." his tone was smooth but without emotion, you lowered your eyes to your feet, suddenly ashamed, you couldn't believe you had burst out in tears.

"Forgive me please Justiciar Ondolemar, I just had a fall and almost had another, I've not - I've not been feeling too well, I must have embarrassed you and myself, I'm sorry." you trailed off whilst fiddling the cuff of your garment, it wasn't exactly a lie, but you felt guilty none-the-less, but how could you tell him that your honor had been compromised, he already had such a look of vitriol when you had seen him earlier after your altercation, with the jarl.

_Oh no, what will the jarl think? he must hate me, must think I'm a harlot for leading him on but...but I'm sure I didn't mean to._

You had started to panic, a fresh sheen of perspiration decorating you, your breathing stilted and ungainly, the towering elf had noticed as he took your arm and lead you towards his quarters, he didn't say anything as it happened, you took that time to try to steady your breathing as you listened to the soles of your leather shoes hitting the ground unmeasured in contrast to the Altmer's graceful composed steps.

He stood by the door, his towering grace and quirked up eyebrow unnerved you sometimes, he was doing it again, quizzically viewing you as if you were some kind of wild animal, his gaze never faltering as it followed your gait. 

Looking around the room as you hesitantly stepped inside, you see that it has not really changed, why would it have though, its furniture, the same dark stained oak, this was not local furniture you'd decided that last time when you had first seen his chambers, these were from his own or possibly the Thalmor's personal collection, a fire was roaring and you made to take a seat, you looked to him for his permission, he nodded and sat in the seat opposite you.

"Some wine? I'm afraid it's not a particularly good year but oh well, one must make do in this part of the world." you shook your head, you didn't feel like getting drunk was a good idea, especially not after last time, he seemed to have agreed, "Just as well, after noticing your propensity for falling flat on your face, I think it's a wise choice, don't mind me though." 

_Does his voice always sound like silk?_ Your thought shocked you, although it really shouldn't have, you clapped a hand to your mouth as if the thoughts had a will of their own and would betray their owner at any second.

You watched his deft finger as he poured from the decanter, red sloshed in his goblet as he brought it to his lips, he sat now, opposite you, eyes on yours as he poured the liquid into his mouth - you were staring again, you quickly glanced towards the fire. 

"Why did you bring me here?" you blurted out without thinking, you hastily added "if it's not an impertinent question that is."

"I'm not going to talk to the side of your face, look at me whilst I'm speaking and then perhaps we could have a civilized conversation." his tone was commanding but not harsh, you reluctantly did as he bade you to do.

"I'm sorry justiciar." your voice meek as you looked up at his face and bit your lip, you were no good at eye contact, it made you feel shy. "Why do you want me to look upon you though sir, it's just that I'm a servant and I'm usually told that I'm not allowed to look at my betters in their eyes." you hadn't meant to ask but the question had been on your mind for awhile.

"Your 'betters' -" to your astonishment he lets out a full laugh, his eyes crinkling and smile wide, showing his white teeth, he looked handsome, you were flushing again but you were starting to get used to that when around him, you'd almost made peace with your fascination - almost. "to think these barbarians feel that they can call themselves better than you, oh dear, well they're full of character and a rustic charm at least, but then again so are you." 

You almost choked, if you'd accepted that wine you would have, _did he just pay me a compliment, a proper one without an insult along with it... 'rustic charm' ah well close enough,_ you'd still take that compliment though.

"To answer your question though, regardless of your status, I do not talk to the back of people's heads, I find it rather uncouth and not just a little... unsettling, perhaps I'm a little different than most though in that regard, I seem different even when considering my Altmer brethren." you watched as he briefly looked down to his feet himself and all the mirth seemed to leave his eyes, a strange sadness seemed to settle in them momentarily but just as fast was replaced with his usual imperious veneer.

"So, let us not be coy, we both know why we're here, what's the story between you and the jarl? the great oaf seemed to be quite distressed at your outburst although he poorly attempted to veil it with merriment. I don't think such a display between the two of you was a quibble over you not polishing his vase correctly."

You were rustled, he had called you out directly and made no attempt to hide it, you couldn't blame him, the whole town would be awash with gossip come tomorrow, you knew it. The question was whether it would be to your advantage to take Ondolemar into your confidence, to seek some sort of counsel with him.

Your eyes locked with his again and your chest tightened in response, you had a fluttery feeling in your tummy again and were feeling a bit overwhelmed, your leg jiggled and you made your decision.

"The jarl, well uhm he's - he's taken to the belief that he and I, well that we're compatible, if you understand my meaning." a weight was lifted off your shoulders, your burden no longer just yours to bare, you didn't know if you could trust the justiciar, logical you thought that you probably couldn't but in your heart, well it told you that you could, you needed someone, anyone to confide in, you would have told the other servants but you knew that even though they may be your best friends, that they'd turn a blind eye, they had to, they weren't rich, they weren't powerful, the only one who possibly could help out of them was Layla and she was currently still annoyed with you, you'd tried to fix that rift but Hemming had gotten into her head. 

"Compatible! I mean I know he's not the most competent ruler but I thought he'd have more political acumen, he should know that marrying a commoner would not bode well with the noble classes, what an idiot man." he was striding now, long fingers steepled together under his chin, thinking up a storm it seemed, you sat there nervously a sense of Déjà vu overcoming as you looked into the flames, you were slightly offended.

"I thought you said not ten minutes ago that being a servant doesn't make me lower than anyone here?" you were very affronted by his wildly oscillating behavior. 

"Oh I meant it more in a subjective sense rather than objective, _I_ feel that they are not better than you but the common folk, well that's a different story, why did I offend you? you're a sensitive one aren't you and quite quick witted too." he was eyeing you up and down now, like a predator who had caught its prey but you couldn't help but glimpse the slight hurt vulnerability with just a bit of tenderness in his eyes, the look that he tried to hide every time, you noticed the pattern, he'd look at you with anger, hate, mirth, a strange sort of hunger, but you could see through that for some reason, almost like you could see his soul.

"Although your silence is not your best feature little mouse, speak or take your leave, whichever is fine me but I would like to know what you intend to do about your new _beau."_ you noticed that he emphasized the word with disgust, you were extremely conflicted.

"He's not my _beau_ , I don't want him, I don't want to even be in the same room as him." your hatred must have surprised the tall elf because he stood stock still, looking almost comical with his jaw almost to the floor, for the first time all afternoon you let yourself smile, you couldn't help it, your hatred abated when you saw your - the justiciar - have such shock on his face. 

"Forgive me, I fear my words were quite shocking to you, are you quite all right Ondolemar?" you smiled still and played with the edge of the deep green upholstery of the chair, you were an odd mix of angry - from the earlier incident with the jarl -, shocked, sad and amused, you were also very tired now.

"Uhm yes, yes of course, I just never thought I'd hear my mouse so filled with anger." his tone shifted as he made to lean down towards you, probably an attempt to get your ever wondering gaze upon his. "He hasn't - hurt you as he?" there was concern in his eyes and tone. "I've never seen you like this, I thought perhaps that you were a willing participant in the whole affair, but the amount of hatred and despair in your voice told me a different story."

You felt ashamed and guilty, you didn't want to lie, so you told him the whole story, by the end of it he slumped down uncharacteristically in his chair, hand under his chin deep in thought, you'd apologized over and over but he'd told you there was no need over and over, you both sat there in silence, until you decided to get things straightened out, you were a maid after all, straightening things out was one the thing you could do.

Your voice broke a little but then you cleared your throat and started "The thing is justiciar - Ondolemar, I did kiss him back but I realized after my interest did not lie with him, he just overwhelmed me, I mean it was my first kiss, so many things were happening at once, but I knew after that he and I weren't meant for each other, I see who he is and I'm not sure I like it, forgive me but I really don't like it in fact."

He jumped a little in his seat, he must have been very deep in thought, he retorted "then answer my question from earlier what will you do? he has considerable power, wealth, he'd be your veritable pot of gold, your ticket to a rich life, well considering human standards." he looked expectantly at you.

"I don't know what I will do but I know what I will not, I will not acquiesce to his demands regardless of the pressure he will probably start to put upon me." you said with utter conviction, it was the one thing in your life that you could take charge of, who and who you will not be with.

Ondolemar's keen eyes searched yours, he was looking at you like you had at him earlier, looking so deep into your eyes, into your soul, at that very moment he may as well have your heart held in his hand beating for him and him alone, he could play it to the tempo of his own beat, you felt a spark within you, a knock on the door broke the magic. 


	12. A Housecarl's Keep

The knock resounded across the room over and over, it sounded urgent to your ears, your heart still palpating you ducked your head down low, ashamed of your cowardice when in front of Ondolemar but you felt that he could see your entire mind just by gazing into your eyes, and that's something that you didn't need in that moment considering the rapping upon the door and the broken moment that you had yet to acknowledge.

"Who comes to disturb a justiciar in the middle of important business?" his tone shrill but still slightly gruff, it made you wonder, although you hastily put a pin in those thoughts, you didn't want to rock the boat anymore today, you blushed at the thought as unbidden thoughts of your dream came flooding back.   
  


"Faleen, housecarl to our great jarl Igmund, now open the door." her tone was stoic and serious as usual, despite your lack of contact with her and her bristly but protective nature of the jarl, you found that you liked her, admired her even.

"You may be the housecarl but I am the current occupier of this room, I guard this murky abomination for free may I add, so I expect some courtesy in exchange, a please should suffice, or is everyone in Markarth uncouth?" his tone was biting now, if he were a sabre cat you were sure, he'd have pounced at the visitor by now, you were suddenly thankful for the elf in front of you.

"Oh for -" there was a fast creak and you watched as the door was roughly yanked open, "well I wasn't going to stand out there all day, waiting to be let in a room of my own damn keep." 

"' _Your_ ' keep? oh a housecarl who's above herself, such a thing has not been observed before. Regardless you are infringing upon my rights of privacy now, I should go to the jarl with this but I doubt the ingrate would really appreciate my efforts to communi -" 

Ondolemar was cut off mid-sentence as Faleen lost her temper, her hand went flying to his face as if to strike him, you stumbled back, almost losing your balance, you were appalled by the display from the two supposed adults, as Faleen hurled another fist the justiciar's way and he grabbed her wrist mid air to prevent her attack.

"Stop!" you shouted to them, you were almost pleading you didn't like confrontation at the best of times but the behavior in front of you was beyond childish. 

"Please, stop, the both of you." neither were listening, they were too busy glaring daggers, presumably trying to disembowel each other via their minds, you inwardly asked Mara for guidance as you took a steadying breath and tentatively took a few steps to your right and did something you never thought you would do, you took the cuff of the elf's sleeve in your hand and nervously tugged at the hem, trying to get his attention. 

Biting your lip you spoke lowly as not to get too irate again, "You know she loves the jarl, calm down, please, she's only defending someone she loves." he looked down at you, his viper like expression softened you as you weakly smiled up at him.

The justiciar straightened up but he didn't shake your hand off to your surprise, the knot in your stomach was forming again as your cheeks heated up, but his gaze was shifting between you and the fiery redguard, her stance defensive, ready to strike if need be, you needed to think of a way to put them at ease. 

Thoughts swirled through your head as you cleared your throat nervously, ready to talk them down, you looked at them both, Ondolemar seemed ruffled but in no way was he the one who started this, _I wonder why he only defended himself, I've seen justiciar's attack for less, but thank Mara for no one getting hurt, I'd rather not have to clean up that mess anyway._

  
"I know you'll see sense, you're both intelligent, but you need to calm down, if not for each other's sake but for your reputations, Ondolemar it would be in your best interests to take the moral high-ground in these situations, your integrity will thank you for it and Faleen, it would be in yours to cease with violence at the smallest of slights, you need to save your strength for real threats." you weren't sure it was going to work, if anything you were very dubious about it but you stuck to it, it was just a show of confidence.

You situated your hands on your hips, took a deep breath, you held your head in the air, you mimicked the elf's imperious manner unintentionally, "So, are you both going to calm down enough to actually talk this through? because I for one have had enough drama the last few weeks and I'm sure we'd all just prefer a quiet life."

Faleen sighed, shook her head and grit her teeth "Okay, okay, I admit, I might have been a little rash, but he's got to stop insulting the jarl, Igmund is a good man, he's done a lot for me, for Markarth. I'm not apologizing though." 

You tapped the toe of your shoe nervously on the stone floor, the sound slightly echoing, the thin veil of your faux confidence fading with every second, you weren't sure how Ondolemar would take the lack of apology, but you could see it pained here to admit to wrongdoing, you also wanted to know why she was here in the first place, Ondolemar seemed to think the same thing because he backed away a few steps and spoke, his face now devoid of any emotion.

"I will compose myself and let this one instance of hysterics pass without further comment for the sake of my - well for the sake of Y/N, but this is the only time I shall tolerate such behavior. The sooner you tell me why you almost broke my door down to speak with me, the sooner you can leave me be." he looked at you his bearing was as regal as ever, although his voice was strained and back slightly more rigid than usual, you had to admit that you felt pleased that he'd do what you'd asked of him, it made you feel like you mattered.

"I'm not going to rise to the bait anymore justiciar but I came here for her not you, I've no time for your snide remarks" she pointed a strong finger at you, you felt a little sick as you wondered what you might have done but then you remembered Igmund, this stunk of him.

"Is this about my _fall_ earlier in the throne room? because I did not mean to embarrass the jarl." you liked Faleen but you couldn't tell her the truth, not when she nearly came to blows with a justiciar over a silly insult.

"I need you to come with me now, the jarl is in a mood like I've never witnessed from him, ever since the falling incident, it was fine at first he laughed at your accident, in a good natured way I'm sure but... he's been drinking -" she looked different now, her strong stance slightly hunched, head down and hair hanging limply around her face. 

"-Is he ever not? it sounds like typical nord behavior to me. Why does he need her? has he not humiliated her enough?" he gestured to you as he continued, Faleen was getting the murderous look again but she held her tongue, you loved your elven friend but you did wish he wouldn't insult people quite so often... _one moment...I love him, no, no, I'm just tired, tired and lonesome is all and he's been kind to me that's all._

Heat had flushed your face, you were sure it was evident on your cheeks, your heart thumped as your stomach clenched, you felt faint, the elf must have noticed your lightheaded swaying as he discreetly put an arm out behind you, ready to catch you should you fall although he still looked straight ahead as he spoke to Faleen. 

"He's smashing things, getting into fights! actual fistfights, people are taking bets! he's a mess." she ground the words out, it was obviously hurting her to see her jarl in that way, you took a few deep breaths in and out, as you looked at a painting of a city made of crystal on the wall behind Faleen, trying to focus on something to steady yourself.

As your head cleared and her words resonated you resisted the urge to snort - the elf beside you had no such reservations, he openly chuckled -, you couldn't blame him, the thought of the so-called dignified jarl fighting like a drunken sailor was hilarious to you too. 

Finding your bearings you manage out, "Forgive me that's terrible but what I am to do?" you managed to ask as you bit the inside of your cheek, the pain making you twitch slightly, it was better than angering Faleen anymore though.

"Come with me and I'll show you why this matters to you too." if you and the golden elf beside you were bothering her, she only showed it via her facial expressions this time, her jaw was clenched, as were her fists but she seemed exude a frantic energy, she truly was worried about her beloved jarl.

"I'm not letting her go there with you, this could be some kind of ploy." the elf behind you rushed the words out impatiently, his arm suddenly wrapping around your possessively, his hand on your hip, you knew there was something strange and unspoken between you but you never thought he'd be so open in his need to protect you. 

You looked up into his bright eyes, smiled at him and eased his worries, although you were still worried yourself, you had to be strong. "I'm sure it will all be okay, come with me?"

"Well if you really want to attend a drunken brawl, I suppose I shall have to go with you, I can't convince you to stay away can I?" to your ears he sounded worried, his hand latched on tighter to your hip, his grip made you gasp as you felt a completely unfamiliar jolt of energy race through you, it ran from the most intimate part of you and all through your core, you didn't know what it was but you liked it.


	13. A Brawling Jarl

Faleen lead the way, Ondolemar slid his hand from your hip but kept a steady pace by your side. Shouting echoed through the ancient hall as the three of you approached the throne room.

You audibly gasped and clasped your hands to your mouth as you peered over Faleen's shoulder whilst standing at the open doorway, the sight before you was disgusting, Igmund swayed above a fallen man clutching his bloody nose, Nords were cheering and smashing their mugs of ale together.

But worst of all was the smell, the scent of blood, ale and stuff you'd rather not think about but knew you'd have to clean stung your nose, "What in Mara's name Faleen, this can't be over me? I'm a mere servant, I do not see how I can help him right now, especially with such a crowd."

"You should make them pay for entry, gain some desperately needed coin for you Jarl, maybe then you could afford -" Looking up towards your right side at the handsome elf's face, you shook your head at him watching the sarcastic smile falter and he shook his head and sighed, "Fine I will be cordial for your benefit but as soon as we get this matter straightened out, I will be free with my tongue...not unlike someone else I know."

You blanched and whispered, "You know that wasn't my fault." He was about to reply when Faleen turned to you both seemingly plucked from her thoughts, "Whatever you two are talking about doesn't matter right now, y/n, the Jarl has been mentioning your name, so whatever you did to cause this, I want you to fix it, today...right now preferably."

"She can't just fix it you daft cow." Oh that had done it, you were about to admonish them and try to stop the ensuing fight when your skin prickled and the hairs on your body stood up, a drunken voice slurred yet still boomed, "THERE SHE IS! The lady of the hour, the woman I would share my bed with, the little tease who'd rather let her Thalmor friend fuck her...probably from behind like the animal she is than even kiss me again." 

You were wide eyed and flushed bright red, silence fell amongst the crowd as you turned to see the Jarl point his big finger at you, judging and mocking you cruelly, you swallowed past the lump in your throat absolutely humiliated, "OUT!" 

Almost jumping out of your skin as you watched to your surprise Faleen shouted and pushed at the crowd but as your chest tightened, the hushed whispers of the passersby that now believed you were soiled and aligned with the _'enemy'_ faded, you felt a crackle of energy, an extreme heat searing next to you, looking to your right, it was your friend his hands now crackling with lighting, "NO, no Ondolemar, don't attack the Jarl." 

You tugged at his lithe but firm arm, "Ondolemar, please, you'll get into trouble, he's not worth it." If the elf had heard you he gave no indication as his power built up almost to a crescendo, Faleen needed to get back, you felt sick, you weren't sure if you should run for her but she seemed to be lost in a sea of people.

A gruff voice boomed, "Let him face me girl - You pointy eared bastard come here, face me like a man, no magic." The jarl's craggy face was full of misplaced bravado, he still swayed but seemed to have sobered a little, you put a hand on your stomach as you started to heave, you were sweating profusely and crying, you tried to listen to what was happening from your crouched position, your breathing was erratic and when you looked up it was to see the Jarl passed out and the Justiciar looking down at you.

Ondolemar's usual haughty countenance had all but dissipated as he held your hair back although huffing his annoyance all the time, "You shouldn't have done that Ondolemar, you could have been hurt or gotten yourself into trouble, you shouldn't have done that for me." 

"I regret to inform you that I did not do anything to the Jarl, whilst you were busy retching and being a general nuisance, he passed out before I could let my spell fly. Quite a shame really, I was looking forward to teaching that ingrate a lesson in Altmer power." He patted you on the back awkwardly as you wiped your mouth, "Why did you get so annoyed with him?" 

You'd had always been troubled by your own curiosity but you usually managed to miraculously avoid the negative repercussions but you still inwardly chastised yourself every time you asked silly questions. 

Looking coyly - considering you'd been heaving in front of him - up you expected to see anger, disdain, pity maybe, but you weren't prepared for what you saw.


	14. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: This chapter has a character exposing himself to protagonist without giving her any warning, I do not condone such things but it fit the narrative, only proceed with caution, it's towards the end of the chapter, I understand if you would like to skip this chapter, also mentions of alcohol abuse.

His keen eyes were locked with yours laced with a blown out heat that you couldn't place until you remembered how the Jarl's had looked just before he had kissed you. ' _He doesn't reciprocate my feelings does he? He shouldn't...I shouldn't but.'_

Your breathing hitched and your heart doubled in speed as everything seemed to speed up but slow down simultaneously, his deft fingers made to stroke an errant lock of your hair out from your face as they did they grazed your cheek and the world seemed to spin, his fingers were shaking and your skin tingled, your eyes seared and the atmosphere shifted, you felt a strange sense of longing. 

His face shifted and you looked down as his usual nonchalant façade slid back into place, you sighed and slumped your shoulders feeling defeated, _'Why do I care? I am not supposed to feel anything for him, but why does it hurt so much?"_

He cleared his throat standing to his full height, still so imposing, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF OBLIVION?!", Faleen almost growled as she glanced at the evidence of the scuffle that almost occurred before her, you got up albeit shakily, a hand steadied your shoulder, _his_ hand, you weren't sure why Ondolemar seemed to be tormenting you so, did he even realize?

Her sharp eyes noted the slightly scorched ground where Ondolemar's magic had careened out of his control, where the Jarl lay on the floor prone still, "Jarl Igmund! -" She ran to him and started slapping at his face none to gently, "- wake up, come on! There we go. Don't try to move too fast, shh, shh." 

It was like watching a mother hen looking out for her chick, you felt a layer of guilt over the whole affair... _'Maybe I led him on, I shall have to apologize.'_ The Justiciar seemed to know what you were thinking, "It was not your fault but neither was it mine, what is that proverb, ah yes, he made his own bed, he can lie in it. You have nothing to apologize for." The tall elf's voice was laced with something undeterminable.

You tried to steady your erratic breath as you spoke, "But it was my fault to some degree, I should have made him understand from the start that I -." 

"Like it or not, Igmund is the Jarl and Jarl's are used to getting whatever they desire, you could be betrothed to another and it would not deter such a man." His expression was dour as he stood before you, your stomach dropped when you both glanced at the Jarl, "What am I going to do Ondolemar? I cannot live like this, in fear." 

Your knees were weak when a tremble shook through you, "I have to stay here Ondolemar, I'm terrified but I have to face the music, I caused all of this, I'm only sorry that I have caused such a mess for everyone, especially you." You let out a tiny sniffle hoping he wouldn't notice.

A hand ghosted over your shoulder again and you lunged towards him, you couldn't help it, you wrapped your arms around his lithe body and cried, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me." His body was tense at first but soon enough he was enveloping you in his embrace, warmth emanated from him to you and you found yourself sighing, his hands ran up and down your back, trying to calm you. 

Faleen tapped you on the shoulder a look of surprise on her face which was soon replaced with determination, "What happened here?" 

"What happened here was that your _noble Jarl_ decided to make a mockery of himself and of y/n here because he felt entitled to have her when she clearly does not want his advances." His voice was biting, the tone sardonic, he was speaking for you but you didn't mind, you couldn't quite get anything out apart from the odd hiccough anyway.

The warrior scoffed, "You really think that the Jarl has such a strong interest in a serving girl? I'm not denying he wants to bed her, that's quite clear but to fight over her? He could have any girl he wants." The words stung, but you felt relief as you rubbed your aching forehead against the Justiciar's firm abdomen, you felt so small compared to him yet again but you were starting to realized he made you feel safe. 

Now it was the Justiciar's turn to scoff, "Oh but his sort always want what they cannot have, he's a beast in a noble's attire." 

You were scared there would be another blowout and then you heard heavy steps, they were uneven, telling you who they belonged to before he even started to speak - slur to you, "What happened? Ah my head, wait why are you two? Oh you really are fucking him... let me show you a real man, those elves must have skinny cocks." He guffawed at his own joke but to your horror and everyone around you, he started to unlace his breeches. 

"Stop him Faleen." You whimpered, even Faleen blanched as the Jarl exposed himself, "M- my Jarl, stop, you must desist, not here, you're completely in your cups aren't you." She was fidgeting around trying to bat the Jarl's hands away as he started to pump himself in front of you, you gasped, you'd never properly seen one before, it was so angry looking, you looked away although your cheeks were heated, you felt the Justiciar tense completely but then he surprised you.

His laughed reverberated around the throne room, "Aww my poor dear sweet mouse has obviously not seen one before, she looks afraid - well my dear you certainly have nothing to be afraid with the so called _mighty Nord, -_ I'm surprised the resident cook has not mistaken it for a miniscule piece of fungus." 

"You bastard!" The Jarl swung and missed his aim completely shot, Faleen shook her head as she heaved him towards his bedroom, he bellowed foul things to you, as you were utterly confused and shaking in your Altmer's embrace. 

"I am sorry you had to see that, I should have cut it off where he stood but I felt that might have made you feel ill." You were sniffling as he steered you out of the throne room, you thought he was taking you to the servants hall but he walked off course towards his own chambers, Faleen huffed as she came from the Jarl's bedroom.

"I don't know what to say, I'm sorry for everything." You gaped at her still keenly aware that Ondolemar's hand was on your waist, his touch causing a tingling heat wherever it landed, "Why are you sorry? I thought the Jarl would have ordered both of us down to the mines." 

"Let's just say today was not my proudest day here, I love the Jarl as a brother but I fear drink may be his ruin, I will speak with him on the morrow and see what he has to say but I cannot justify his behavior...not today." Her voice came out so quietly on the last part that you had to strain to hear it, you could see the pain etched in her face, she'd been made to look a laughingstock because of her faith in one man, you felt for her.

She hurried off before anymore could be said.


	15. A Bolt from The Blue

Walking over the threshold of the Justiciar's quarters was becoming shockingly normal for you by then, you wondered if people would talk, then again the Jarl already was talking about some sort of illicit affair between you and your friend, you rubbed a hand across your sweating forehead, your mouth was dry and acrid, "Ondolemar, can we make this short because I really need to attend to my hygiene." 

"Use my basin, it's over there and there's water in the carafe, there's a cloth and cleaning potions, toothpicks, take whatever you need, I have plenty." You felt odd about using another person's things to clean your teeth and mouth with, but he had plenty to spare, _'he's letting me use his things, only very close people do that don't they?'_

When you'd finished you'd never had such a clean mouth in your entire life, you followed that up by splashing the cold water on your face, it was refreshing after the day you'd had, but your nerves still felt frayed.

The Altmer said nothing as you turned to see him so you made to sit in the same chair as last time, you crossed your legs but they still jiggled, you played with the hem of your dress, a thread was coming loose and it annoyed you to no end, you were more comfortable in Ondolemar's presence now even as he paced, his long lean legs taking great strides.

His eyes were suddenly on you again and you felt your cheeks heat as you tore your eyes from his form, he smirked and your heart sped up again, it wouldn't do to get to involved with him but he seemed like an anchor grounding you in the storm that was quickly becoming your life.

"Y/n, are you adverse to me?" The question pulled you from your thoughts, you furrowed your brow as his face showed no sign of any particular emotion, "Uhm no I am not, why? I have shown you nothing but respect have I not?" 

"I know you are not, I was just confirming that fact." He continued to pace, you managed only a whisper, "Why are you confusing me like this Ondolemar?-" You wiped a hand down your face, the past weeks had not turned out how you had expected, but you gathered your courage and carried on, "- Because I cannot understand it, one moment you seem to detest me, at others you seem to want to comfort me and even care for me."

His movements were quick as he stood in front of you towering over your sitting form, you were starting to panic but then he dropped to his knees and held your hands in his own, you felt your heart beating against your chest and your cheeks filling with heat, his skin was soft so soft.

"I do NOT detest you, I wish I could because maybe then I could go on with my life, but you have taken over, taken me over, I think of you so often I find myself having to go away completely for a day here and there just to get some peace from thoughts of you." His admission made your mind spin with the implications, you were stock-still as his thumbs tentatively caressed the top of your hands, you lowered your head his touch making you shy.

"I don't understand, what is happening?" You felt stupid but so much had happened in such a short space, your life had become a complicated web, a tapestry where a thread could be pulled at any time wrecking it all, you heard him sigh, "Neither do I, y/n, I am a Thalmor, I have spent my life trying to be the best example of Mer for my father but...I tire of it, everyday when I see you, it makes me question it all, I should hate you considering your allegiance, considering who you are but I cannot." 

You let out a whine of disappointment when he left your hands to turn his back, his hands rubbing the back of his head watching with bated breath as he leaned forward holding the ledge of his bookshelf before him, looking weak for the first time, vulnerable.

"Ondolemar, I do not know what is happening between us but I know it must cease before it starts, i - it feel dangerous." Your voice was barely a whisper and you felt your heart hitch, unbeknownst to you tears were falling steadily from your eyes, your heart broken and you weren't even sure why.

"You cannot possibly want _him!?"_ He spat with more venom than a snake, you were taken aback, "NO! I just want to go back to how things were before, when I first arrived, when things were _normal."_

"That ship has sailed. You must make your choice, but make it a wise one because once it has been made there will be no going back for either of us." He waved you off, "Go, mull it over but I will not wait forever." 

You sprang up from the chair, his back was still turned, you went up to him gathering all of your courage, you'd realize if your were to make it in the province of Skyrim you'd have to be, "I will make my choice but not between him and you because that choice is easy...it will always be you." _'Love or livelihood.'_

You swore you heard his breath hitch whilst your own remained erratic, he spun quickly surprising you, "Well let me make the choice a little easier for you." The air was pushed from your lungs as you felt hands pull you by your waist, you had to wrap your legs around the Altmer in order to get some purchase and as you gasped at your predicament you felt soft lips against yours.

They tasted of wine but were sweeter than Igmund's, his arms were both wrapped around your waist as you threw your arms around his neck, the kiss was tender at first sending shivers down your spine and a soft tingle in your lips as it got deeper, your heart was racing and your head dizzy when his tongue laved at your lower lip making you gasp.

His tongue slid against yours and you moaned into his mouth, it felt hot in your mouth, his kiss searing you with its intensity but all too soon you had to come up for air, you were shy as you hid your head in the crook on his neck, he gasped and you chanced a glance up, looking at him under your lashes, "Did I do something wrong?" It came out more breathily than you intended.

"No, definitely not but I think you should go and make your decision before I make it for you little mouse." He panted out, his pupils were blown and eyes heavy-lidded. 


	16. Tears and Truths

You spent the night tossing and turning, everyone was still whispering about you and giggling until Frida piped up, "Enough, enough it's bedtime now girls, I don't want to hear as much as a titter when I come back to check up on you." 

You were thankful but you didn't think it'd be enough because as soon as she left, one of the girls started asking you innumerable questions, "Is it true that you're bedding the Jarl and you actually cheated on him with the Justiciar, seriously?! If I had a chance with a Jarl I wouldn't make that mistake." 

Turning your back under the covers as silent tears streamed down your face, you were being ridiculed and you hadn't even been bedded by either man, ' _maybe I should take Ondolemar up on his offer, but what exactly is his offer? Just to be his bedpartner or something more - it's of no consequence everyone thinks I'm a harlot now anyway.'_

The world faded as you cried yourself to sleep, your dreams were more like nightmares, hands tore at your hair pulled at your clothes, a gruff voice was booming out 'whore', the words hurt, but then that dream changed into one of him, his voice like silk smoothing over you, in your dream you were being embraced within his long arms, he nipped and kissed at your neck but you were torn from him, the man with the booming voice ripped you from your love.

You woke up drenched in perspiration, you half expected to see all the girls giggling again, but no one was there, you heard a creak and Frida walked in, "Where is everyone?" You asked feeling discombobulated. 

"They're at their stations doing their duties - well they're supposed to be but knowing the girls they're probably gossiping instead." She gently pulled you up by the top of your arm, "Come on let's get you clean." 

Your cheeks flushed, "You don't have to." You protested but it fell on deaf ears as Frida was helped by, "Layla!" filled a tub as they both helped you off with your dress, you meekly covered your nude form but it was silly really so you let them help you.

"What's this in aid of?" The water stung your body as you dipped a toe in, it was slightly too hot, the redheaded Layla went to fetch an ewer of cold water. 

"Jarl's orders." Frida avoided your eyes, your mouth hung open, you must have looked like a gaping fish, "Wh- why?" You didn't want to know the answer though, "None of us know girl and frankly we don't want to." Frida's reply almost made you burst into tears.

"I don't want him Frida, I don't, I don't know why he just won't leave me alone, he could have anyone!" Your lip quivered and you sobbed openly, "Girl stop, please, come on, it won't help, the Jarl gets what he wants when he wants it, I tried to talk some sense into him, so did Layla, but he won't listen, not even to Faleen." 

Frida ran her fingers through your hair as you wept, hushing and trying in vain to comfort you as she went along, "Dear, come on now, there's nothing to be done for it, just let him get what he wants and he'll soon tire." 

"But I don't want what he wants, he's a beast." You held your head high as the tears dried up, a sudden strength filled you, you remembered your childhood, the wealthy household that you grew up in and the sense of pride that your status had imparted upon you until you were forced out that was, but you had to conjure up some strength so you pushed the sad memories away.

Layla came in with a cloth and sat next to the tub, "Hemming and I have set the date." She smiled at you, you supposed she thought it was happy news but it didn't cheer you up at all, "I thought you were annoyed with me?" 

"I was at first but I have been thinking about it. It must hurt to have never been betrothed and seeing your best friend getting betrothed so soon, you were probably just sad that I'm leaving our friendship behind but I'm not, that's the thing y/n I'm not going to leave you behind, Hemming says I can still talk to you even after we're wed."

"Well that's fine of him." You had to concede it, at least he wasn't taking her away completely but he still left a sour taste in your mouth, you continued, "Don't you hate me, aren't I a harlot?! I apparently bedded your brother and slept with Ondo-the Justiciar." 

"I spoke to my brother this morning, he said that he was drunk, that he shouldn't have said what he said that you and the elf are just friends." You put a hand to your mouth, "He really said all that?" Layla nodded her head fervently, she ran her fingers on the tub's ledge, "So you are going to be at the wedding aren't you?" 

_'And watch you get married to a beast who's just as bad as your brother.'_

But you just nodded, now that you and the Jarl weren't seeing eye to eye you weren't sure if you could ever get through to her, she was an adult and you could only do your best to watch out for her but she'd made her decision and it looked like she wasn't going to change it.

"You're basically my sister now anyway." She put her hands together as she giggled, her hazel eyes shone, "You really think so much of me?", Tears pricked at your eyes again, but this time happiness was the cause, "Well yes and you're to marry my brother so of course, oh and he's thinking of the best way to legitimize me, it's all coming together now isn't y/n, our lives are going to be amazing, I always knew we were meant to be friends." 

You'd zoned out by the end of her sentence, she was practically jumping with excitement, you felt numb... _'He won't stop until I'm his will he?'_


	17. Once a Good Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning; Thinly veiled threats from beastly Igmund and light non-con touching.

Frida led you up to the Jarl's chambers, you went with her begrudgingly, you knew it was a risk but you needed to confront him, _I can do this, I am just as much a person as he is, he can't do this to me just because he's a Jarl, I won't let him._

Ondolemar was nowhere to be seen as you looked around you became increasingly worried, even his followers were gone, you almost tripped over one of the dogs on your way, you mumbled an apology and pet him. 

"Listen I can wait outside if you like, I might not be able to stop him but I can at least be here for you." You watched as the usually strong woman broke down, "I'm sorry this is happening to you dear, I just don't know what to do, may- maybe you should pack a bag and run for it..." 

You could see the battle within her, she didn't want to lose her job, probably didn't have much to fall back on but she liked you and didn't want to see you hurt either, you decided to take away the quandary, "It's okay, go about your duties Frida, but thank you, come here." 

After hugging her you straightened up and made to knock the door once your friend was safely down the steps on her way to her duties, she kept looking back at you though, so you gave her a weak smile and willed yourself to be confident. 

The door opened so fast all you could do was squeak as you fell into the strong chest of Jarl Igmund, he grinned down at you and you pushed yourself away from him hastily.

"Well here she is Dibella reimbodied." He snorted down at you as you tried to push back your now mussed up hair, your fringe a heavy veil over your face, you grimace and spoke, "What do you want with me?" 

"Not very polite are we, that is no way to speak to your man." You were affronted but chose not to take the bait as he stepped back to allow you into his room, you'd been here once before and the memory of his lips on yours sent shivers down your spine, but these ones were not of pleasure.

"Just tell me Jarl Igmund, otherwise we shall be here all day, I have duties to attend to." You bit the words out, he just chuckled and motioned you to sit by the fireplace, you sank into the soft chair, trust the Jarl to not practice what he preached considering he made everyone in the keep apart from Ondolemar sleep and sit on stone, apparently it was the Markarth way.

Watching wearily as he poured some wine you had to grip the arms of the chair to stop yourself from fidgeting, you wanted to seem composed so he knew how resolute you were, that you were never going to be his.

He tutted and handed you a glass, you chanced a sidelong glance, you spoke first, "I would have assumed that a Jarl wouldn't pour his own wine, I must congratulate you on your initiative." 

Suddenly his imposing figure was before you, ' _Stay strong, be confident, show him you're not just a servant, you're a person, a person with rights...oh no what have I done'_

There was a storm in his eyes and you recoiled, "I pour my own wine today because I see no maid before me." His tone was husky but tinged with a darkness.

"What do you see?" You didn't want to ask but knew that it was like taking out stitches, it hurt but you couldn't leave them in forever lest they get infected, "I see someone who will not be my slave but will be my wife."

Igmund sat in the chair opposite you now as your whole body quaked, you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, he considered you as you twitched, "Have some wine, join me _dear."_

' _Is he mocking me?' Is this all some sick power game?'_ The light from the fire flickered madly, dancing in heated waves but you couldn't feel it, your blood had run cold. 

Steeling yourself you managed to speak again, "I will not be your wife Jarl Igmund, I am not a doll to be used and toyed with how you wish. And did you not call me a harlot...an animal just the other day?!" 

His cup came down to the table with a great thud, his rage no long concealed, his jaw tensed and fists clenched at his side, your heart pounded, sweat coating you as you bit your lip, he walked towards you, you inched away but were trapped by his hands over your arms which were still gripping the chair.

_This was an error, I need to leave.'_

"You.will.be.my.wife." You couldn't meet his eyes, the scrutiny too intense for you as his heavy breaths cascaded over your face, the alcohol stung your nostrils, his grip was starting to hurt, "Try to scream and my lovely intended will not be so lovely anymore." 

His tone dripped with malice, "So lovely girl, have you decided? Oh how silly of me, I remember now, it's not your choice to make, as Jarl of Markarth it is mine and mine alone." He chuckled but you couldn't find the humor in it.

Your eyes misted with unshed tears, "Let me go please." You whispered, you decided to degrade yourself but if it meant getting out it was worth it, so you played the only card you had, "Please let me go, I am but a lowly servant, you cannot marry a harlot." The words hurt and you'd promised yourself that you'd make him see that you weren't just a servant earlier but his madness was deeper than you had anticipated. 

He loomed over you inching ever forward until his breath was on your ear, "We both know that my drunken outburst was born of rage, there was no truth in it, I know you're no whore, but I will marry you and I will make you one." 

You shuddered you were ashamed as your breath quickened and you felt spikes of _'please don't let it be that I am aroused by this beast, no, no, it cannot be.'_

You turned your head away from him, "What if it were true, what if the Justiciar and I have been..." You couldn't say it, but you needed for him to think of you negatively, his grip was making you hiss in pain and you tried to shuffle away, he let go of one arm and you breathed a sigh, but then his hand came to your chin tipping it up to force you to gaze into those startling predatory eyes.

"Ah I know you have not, when I look into these eyes, they tell me, tell me that you've never even been touched by a man and you cannot even say the words." His hand trailed down your neck leaving cold shivers in their wake, "Wh-what words?" Your voice cracked as you lowered your eyes watching as his fingers danced above your cleavage, your chest hitched.

He mimicked you, " _What if the Justiciar and I have been...fucking -_ That is what you would have said if you were not an innocent maiden, but here you are blushing at the mere words, or perhaps it my touch that is causing those cute little gasps." 

"You're horrid, and you were a good man once, what happened?" You cried as he made a lewd gesture with his mouth, he chuckled darkly.

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to update weekly if anyone is interested, thanks again for reading!


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